|
Recently, I was driving home with my two kids and changed the station from their pig-tailed pop to my favorite R&B station. I got the tail end of an announcement about the pregnancy of a favorite songstress of mine and my kids. Before I could finish mumbling my usual everybody-loves-a-new-baby-coo, my 9-year old daughter asked, "Who is she married to?" As usual, my 5-year-old son repeated his sister's words. I explained to my kids that as far as I knew, she wasn't married. Both remained silent with a furrowed brow, then my son asked, "Well, how is she going to have a baby, Mommy?" My children's lack of understanding prompted me to delve deeper into why people have babies before marriage--is it a sign of the "anything goes" times or the perpetual snapshot of a somewhat fractured family?
 I do understand that with their semi-coddled suburban Houston upbringing, my children's exposure differs with the Chicago environment (Southside!) I came of age in. Growing up, I only knew one person whose parents were still married; I don't think my kids have any friends whose parents aren't married. In grammar and high school, I knew a few girls who had babies, but it was a hushed rarity. Whether it's another celebrity or someone I know personally, a month doesn't go by without news of another baby born to unmarried parents. I've read about, and know personally, women who, although they feel it’s not ideal, have decided to refrain from marriage, confirming that career focus and raising a child on their own is much more desirable than waiting for a man who may or may not be on the same page as they are. I've also heard many a testimony from ladies who have had babies, but are not ready to get married, though they intend to someday in the future, although not necessarily with the father of their children. The National Center for Health Statistics for 2007 reports that almost 40% of all births are to unmarried women, yet there are tremendous benefits for black children to be raised in a home with married parents. According to divorce.com, marriage: Results in important benefits for black children. Is highly beneficial for male children. Improves the economic, social, and psychological well-being of African-American men and women. Is more beneficial to black children than white children.
Condoms break, yes. Pills fail, yes. An oops baby is a reality, as I'm sure most of us know or may have even had or been one, but after the second, third...Tell me, is it “in” to have children with multiple partners? Let’s talk, what am I missing?
|
Letter from the Editor